Strengths and Weaknesses

My roommate is starting to pack her suitcases tonight. The semester ends in two weeks. Not sure if I am ready to see all my semester-long friends leave yet, nor am I willing to face the fact that I am halfway over with my time here in Korea!

Even if it is not me packing, it still pains me to know that my friends who are only here for one semester are starting to pack up their lives in order to step onto a plan to take them back to the reality that we all left behind in August when we left our home countries to come here to this magical and foreign place that we have called home for five months so far. 

My roommate packing symbolizes the passing of time for me here.  I had gotten into a comfortable lull while being here for so long. I have now have routines, I am comfortable with the flow and pace of the city--I am able to dance to the beat of Seoul and not feel out of place like I did when I first arrived. Dare I say that this place is starting to feel like home to me now, much like how I see Sewanee as my home as well?  This realization has also opened my eyes to the fact that I too am going to be leaving at the end of next semester. I too will be packing up my clothes, my life that I have created here in Seoul in to two suitcases and one duffel bag and stepping on to a plane to take me back to the States were I will have to re-familiarize myself to the beat of Charlotte, to Sewanee.

I am growing here in ways that even I can't explain, maybe later when I reflect back on my time here or from others when I see them again, but I am being changed by the city here. I hate having to face the reality that this is all temporary, that I can pack my life away into three bags and just jump onto a plane knowing that I may not have the opportunity to visit this magical place again in the near future. It makes every friendship, every experience that I am creating all the more special and important. 

I guess the true strength and self awareness that people talk about gaining while they are studying abroad is the ability to realize that the experience is temporary, yet it leaves a lasting impression on your soul and continues to resonate in your life for years to come. 

When I lived in Europe I got a small sense of home and connection to the country from being surrounded by the Grolier family that I lived with for the summer. Leaving Belgium and France hurt in that I knew that I was leaving behind a small part of myself and taking a piece of the country with me in my new found confidence in speaking the language. I was proficient in French to the point that I could talk to others in their native language and know what they were saying. On that exchange I became stronger in the way that I came back more confident in my abilities to reach out to others of different cultures. I came back from that trip having found my passion for languages, travel, and learning about other cultures.

I have been here for 5 months and am having my confidence that I found in Belgium tested. I have been thrown back into the beginning levels of a new language and am having to relive the first few years of my French training ( that I barred from my memory because they were that challenging and difficult) in the few months that I have been learning Korean. I am having my ability to adapt to different cultures (again skill I learned while in Belgium) being tested everyday that I leave the dorms; having to force myself not to jump when I hear the sound of a delivery scooter blasting its horn for me to move out of his way on the sidewalk; being able to understand what people ask me in Korean, but not knowing how to reply so remaining silent and letting them think that I don't understand; having to get used to the stares of the older Koreans on the subways and the streets because I am a pierced and tall foreigner ( I know they are staring because of curiosity and not malice, but it still a little off putting...).

I am being tested on this trip, much like I was in Belgium. And as I have been writing this Momo (my roommate) has already finished packing one of her bags. Maybe it is the lateness of the hour (I always get more dramatic at night) or the poetic writer in me rising up form her dormant sleep, but I can't not see it as a metaphor for the packing and closing of my first half of my year long adventure here in Seoul. As she leaves the room, leaving the other suitcase open and empty save for a few articles of clothing, I take that as the metaphor for the second half of this trip to begin.

One semester is already over and with it my learning chances. I had wrote before that I am not sure what I am really taking away from this semester until I think back on these times later, maybe while I am sitting in a class in Walsh-Ellot starting out onto the Central quad while my professor goes on about some political puzzle between two countries, but one this that I do know about this semester is that I have grown. I have also come to appreciate and become thankful for the years that I have put into French to get to the point that I am at today. 

Because having to go through the beginning of learning a new language is very difficult, no matter the language. And having to go through it again is hard enough, the only thing that is helping soften the blows is the fact that because I took French before, I am able to appreciate the mile stones more and know the timeline that I am falling on; the first time I understood a question, the first time I was able to write a simple sentence without needing the textbook, the moment were I was able to understand a line of dialogue in a drama--in a song, the time that I was able to read the chalk board in class and know what we were going to be talking about before the teacher opened her mouth, listing and following the chatter between a mother and child on the subway. All these moment are all the more sweeter because I know where they are on the time line of me becoming conversational in a language.

I am now at the point where I am becoming frustrated with not having the vocabulary and grammatical ability to respond. I want to speak, I want to talk to my Korean friends in Korean and not have to have them speak in English all the time, I want to be able to tell the girl on the subway that I really like her shoes and that I want to know where she got them, I want to tell the couple at the pizza shop that they are adorable together and that I wish that they stay happy together for a long time. I was not at this point in French until my fourth year. I went to Belgium in my sixth year.

This semester is coming to a close in a few weeks. After exams end on the 20th, all the semester long students are expected to move out of the dorms on the 22nd. And with the passing of the semester, my frustrations and nerves grow. I am nervous to what is coming my way in the new semester and over the break, but at the same time I am frustrated in my Korean ability that I am looking forward to the new semester and the chance it will bring for improving my Korean. I want my Belgium moment here in Korea, where i get over my insecurities and am able to communicate.

So as Momo packs, I am wondering what strengths she has gained here in Korea and what  understandings she is going to take back home with her. What will I take back at the end of the year, have I already found my new strength, is it on its way, or will I even get it here during my stay or will it come when I land back on American soil at eh end of my adventure?

Holidays in the East

Now for a non-political post!


After the speech, I went back to the dorm and treated myself to a coffee from Caribou Coffee for being a good speech goer and because if is getting really cold here in Seoul. So when I got into the lobby of my dorm there was a gigantic tree in the middle of the floor. I also got two packages from home and a letter from my grandfather.

When I went up stairs to get my laptop and books to move into the study lounge to work on homework and final group projects, I brought the packages and letter with me. Inside there was candy, treats for my finals, some magazines (Seventeen and my sorority's mag the Angelos), as well as a few wrapped presents for Christmas ( and yes they are still wrapped and now put away with the package of Christmas presents sent by my grandmother a few weeks ago). But my favorite things had to be my grandfather's letter and the letter that my younger sister wrote me. There was no grad expression of love and no come back we miss yous, but they still brought tears to my eyes.

My sister had drawn some pictures for me and talked about how things were going back at home and that she and the family wished me a fun rest of the year and to enjoy Korea. My grandfather was just telling me about daily life at the family farm and what was gong on in hie life, and like normal wanted  me to think about renewing my interest in joining the armed forces. Normal things, but I still teared up. I have missed my family since I passed through security at Charlotte Douglas International Airport was back in August, but this is the first time that I had started tearing up when I had gotten something from them (even now I am getting choked up) or talked to them via Skype.

Family is a really important thing for me, especially around the holiday season starting at Thanksgiving and going all the way into the New Year; mot just my immediate family, but also my extended family, all the way to second and third cousins. To be here in Korea is a life changing experience and I am loving being here, but it is hard at times being removed from my family.My program had a Thanksgiving dinner and I had another one with one of my close friends that I have made over here, but it was just not the  same as being surrounded by my crazy family at one of the multiple AFGs that happened.

And looking to the future, I am going to be in Hong Kong with a friend form middle/high school for Christmas and back here in Seoul for New Years. Both new experiences for me, as they will be the first times that I have spent away form my family. It is weird, because with out my family being here, I have lost the anticipation form waiting for the dates. It is like the sparkle and shine from the holidays is gone, they are just days now.

But that is what they are here in Korea anyway (in Asia actually), from what I have heard about from my friends here in Korea. Christmas and New Years are more holidays targeted toward couples and you really only have major family time if you are really young and or do not have a significant other. Sure there are some families who celebrate like back in the States, but for the most part is just a couple holiday.

But I am not going to let that get me down. I am going to have a great time in Hong Kong and then seeing how Korea celebrates the New Year with the CIEE members who are staying over the break like me. And it is not like I am not going to see any family members over the two month break. In January I am going to visit my cousin who lives in Japan and am going to see *coughstealcough* her 5 month old daughter for the first time. Which is really cool, because I will be the first person on my side of the family to see her in person. Plus I will be able to cook and see Japan with a really close cousin of mine!

So the holidays here in Korea have been a little emotional, or lack there of in some cases. Here is hoping that everyone is enjoying being  with their families for the holidays!!

US VP Speech at Yonsei University

 I just back to the dorms from attending the speech made my the US Vice President Joseph R. Biden, Jr (yeah, did not know he was a junior either...).

Now, before I get to far into this, I just want to explain a little about myself to warn you all before you all start reading. I am going to be a little more critical than I normally would be when writing about a speech or event the I would attend. I am a registered Republican and voted against Obama and Biden in the past election (would have voted against them twice if I was of age the first time around). Now don't get me wrong, I am not going to give you a lecture on how the Right is superior and that the Left is just made up of disillusioned monkeys, because that is not right. Both sides have their strong points as well as their weaknesses. My personal beliefs and the goals that I have for my country just tend to fall closer to the side of the Conservatives more so than my fellow generational peers. So I did go into this speech with a critical and, I hate to say it, a slightly confrontational mind set about what Mr. Biden was going to be talking about. But I did not want to come across as the raging conservative that most people automatically think of when they hear that someone is a Republican. I did not wear any blue, and kept my red down to just a belt and my scarf, other than that I kept it neutral with a black dress and tights.

I had met up with some friends at the student union and sat with them while they ate lunch so that we could all walk over together. When we got to the venue at 12:30 there was already a group of people outside taking pictures of all the news trucks and police officers. We were directed to the entrance with our passports and tickets in hand. Inside we were subjected to TSA like screenings, but a little bit more intense; no liquids at all ( my friend's TSA approved bottle of Purrel was confiscated)and had to go through super sensitive metal detectors as well as a wand search.

We were on the balcony with a side view of the platform and the windows to our backs. We were seated around 1:15. Well we were sitting there for a really long time. The doors closed at 1:30 and the speech was suppose to start at 2, but at 2:15 we were still waiting. One of my friends sitting next to me, who is also looking into the State Department, and I passed the time guessing and finding high ranking officials down on the floor and making jokes that the speech delay was really a show of power form the US to show the other countries that the US was the hegemonic power in our alliance and that by delaying it, we were displaying our power (all jokes, but I still thought it was slightly funny). I had noticed that the police outside on the street had doubled and had started to line the street. because my attention was on the window adn everyone else  was focused to the floor, I was able to see the brigade of security cars and also Biden's car drive up around 2:30 pm. Man there were so many cars! There was about four or five security cars with I don't know how many SWAT guys (or the Korean equivalent, like 3 police cars, 3 cars just for Biden and his posse, and then a mini bus with reporters that followed him from where ever he came from (the Embassy maybe? Meeting with the Korean President?).

The speech started at 2:45 an opened with a introduction from the President of Yonsei University, a very very short moment of silence for the late Nelson Mandela and Biden apologizing for being over 20 minutes late for the speech. I had already knew that he was going to address in his speech because of the growing tensions between Japan (a US ally) and  China over a set of island to the South of Korea, added to the fact that the US has been sending more troops and military tech to Japan over the years. It was pretty much a talk to reassure the continuation of the US-ROK alliance and continued US presence in the regions with lots of "Go USA" and " Korea is so greats." It was really dis-jointed and jumped form one point to another with out any real flow between the points.

It was really:   peace, love, and flowers-> military is the key and the US will defend our allies with military power-> peace, love, and flowers-> economy growth-> Non of modern Korea would be possible with out the US-> military power-> Nelson Mandela and peace-> Women's rights-> his family-> Irish blessing-> closing.

 If you really want to know more in depth about what he said, you can read my notes below (if you can read my sloppy cursive) or I am sure that there is a copy of the speech on YouTube soon:

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final page

I was mostly wanting to go down to the floor and network with all the Department officials and Embassy personnel. There were people there from other foreign embassies as well, even a few generals, even on form Mexico! I even walked down the stairs with a few high profile people who were speaking French when we were leaving the gymnasium. I did not want to interrupt their conversation, but it was really cool being next to all those high ranking people in the International Relations sector of the world.

After the speech, a few of us CIEE members waited off to the side to wait for Biden to leave/look at all the high ranking people get into their cars. We also got to see the extent of the security for the event--guys there were snipers on the roofs of the surrounding building, SNIPERS!!! There was even a scuffle across the street form us between two guys, nothing really serious, but I did see some of the security guards pulling apart two groups of people. When Biden's car drove past, he waved to us. Now this may not sound like much, but we were off to the side by a tree, hard to see, but I think it was because we were a group of foreigners right by the exit or the parking lot and also standing near the One Star Mexican General (plus my friend was waving) that we caught Biden's eye and he waved at us.

Like I said, he is not my favorite person and I may disagree on some of his and Mr. Obama's domestic and International policies, but this was a one in a lifetime experience. I am glad that I got the chance to attend, because back home in the States, it is almost impossible to attend a speech that intimate with the country's leaders with out pulling on some major contacts.

Weekly Snap Shot

So thought you all would want another quick update on how I have been doing here in Seoul.

• The semester is coming to an end and all of my professors in a made rush for grades have assigned group projects and essays to replace final exams, so I have been really busy working on papers and finding information for group projects. Classes are still going well, but I am just trying to survive all the papers that I have to do. thank goodness that I am a strong writer...

• One the 1st of December, Kaitlyn, Dat, Brandi, Brandi's friend, and I all went to the Speak Show Turn Up Hip Hop festival. It was so much fun. the Opening DJ was playing some really good clubbing music that we were ale to sing along to. We may or may not have made fools of ourselves, because we were the only ones that were dancing during the pre-show. The concert it self was amazing, and there were so many good acts, but man was it long! Four hours standing in a crowd really took a beating to my back and legs (on top of the fact that I was still sore  from my all night clubbing escapades form the night before--I left the dorm at 10 and did not get back until 5:30...) so to say that I was tired and sore was an understatement! But it was totally worth it because I got to see the rap line from Block B do their thing. Their stages were a mix of their own mix-tapes and also a few collabs with some other artist as well as a performance of No Joke (the all rap song off of their full length album released last year)

• I have been getting over a cold. Truthfully I think it was just my body revolting against the few all nighters that I had pulled in a row, combined with the change in the weather here in Seoul. It has been freezing to pleasantly cool, back to freezing for a while now, and I am not sure if my body was ready for all the drastic changes.  But after three days of sleeping early and napping combined with inhaling all the soup and Vitamin C in a 10 mile radius, i think I am starting to feel better. Actually tonight I have some beef and mushroom Juk (thick rice porridge) and then got miniture sized shot glass of drinkable Vitamin C adn am feeling so much better. Now let's hope that this is almost over, finals are in a few weeks!

Well back to group projects. Will try to start updating more!